“Her life is perfect, I’m so jealous.”
Hello readers! Jazmin here writing to you live from my bed in my studio apartment. If you don’t know me, I am a 22 year old girl living in Los Angeles. I am currently sitting criss cross applesauce, with a glass of Malbec in between my two feet. Nala is sitting in her little gray bed curled up in one of my bedtime t-shirts and Brandon is sitting on the couch near me dissecting a script. Hope you’ve got some popcorn in your hands because I am about to give you a little slice of reality. *SPOIL ALERT* If you want to keep the fantasy in your mind that I live a perfect life in the city of dreams- read no further.
Here’s the truth. The truth is last August we moved out here from Orlando, Florida. I sold everything I had and left behind my family and friends to explore the unknown, chase my dreams and create a life with the person I love. I packed my car with everything I could fit into it, sold what I couldn’t fit and shipped my car to LA. We arrived in Los Angeles and stayed at my best guy friend Ron’s place while he was on tour because our apartment wasn’t ready for 10 days (thank God for him, love you man). Brandon was filming two days later and I wandered LA alone for a few days. That’s when it hit me… we moved to Los Angeles.
When we finally moved into our apartment we lived on an air mattress for a month and barely slept. We slowly furnished our apartment with the essentials and by September I finally found a job serving at a restaurant in Wilshire. Where I’ve been up until a week ago.
You see, I have big dreams. I’m too passionate for my own good. I love life. I love love. I’m creative, I love to write, I love to act and inspire, I love God and I simply cannot be stifled. So I took the plunge and decided to change my path. I was coming home depressed every day and miserable because my job expected from me what most jobs would- to be my first priority. I spent all day in traffic and would sometimes drive an hour there and back for a whopping $40 bucks. When you feel like you have all of this potential inside of you, when you feel like you have so much to offer others and it’s not being recognized or valued… you start to feel worthless. When my grades dropped and I no longer found random reasons to smile, I knew I had to do something different. So, a week ago I quit my job and promised myself to never serve again.
I am not sure what is going to happen next but I do know it will all work out. I am happily pursuing acting, I’m in summer classes continuing to finish my bachelors and excited, I have a roof over my head, food to eat, a loving support system and I’m alive. I have more than many do and for that I’m eternally grateful.
I would’ve never taken the plunge to search for something better if I didn’t know the value of life so deep in my soul. The reason I know that value, the reason I know the value of happiness and time is because I’ve experienced great loss.
November 23rd, 2014 I lost my best-friend of 10 years to an accidental overdose but she deserves her own story. So this ends this blog.