Confidence and self- love lies beyond fear.
I live in the city of dreams and I love the potential that Hollywood has to touch lives across the planet and the opportunity is endless but it doesn’t come without a price. It’s demanding, stressful and soul crushing at times. It’s be yourself but not too much. It’s you can have a voice but not until after you make it. It’s rule after rule and quite exhausting. It’s all about the image. But you can’t be afraid to push against the stigma, be yourself, and let your soul guide you no matter what. This is the only way that you will get the most out of this life or life will get the most out of you.
Because I know this is all temporary and I know my life has greater purpose than I can ever imagine it fuels me. So many of you are reaching out and asking me- How do you love yourself? How do you have so much confidence? Well, we compare ourselves to society’s standards and what its version of perfect is. We compare ourselves to famous models, actors, entrepreneurs, to the people our age living seemingly “perfect” lives and that’s where we go wrong. My view of beauty and success is what allows me to be confident.
I can be standing in a room full of billionaires, actors, entrepreneurs, writers, influencers, musicians and the people I admire and still love myself. Why? because while I can appreciate their milestones it doesn’t diminish mine. Our milestones are everything we’ve gone through to be the people we are today. Beauty is not skin deep. Beauty is what your heart is made up of. Beautiful are the people who dedicate their lives to help others and create positive change. Beauty is being genuine and being kind and seeing all as equal. Beauty is found in the soul.
This goes hand in hand with success. Who decided success was how much money we have? Or what cars we drive? Or how famous we are?
Change your mindset and in turn your confidence and self- love will change. I know that whatever you believe in- afterlife or darkness, the one thing we can agree on is this is all temporary. We don’t get to take our “things” with us when it’s lights out and we all get old and wrinkly at some point. So who decided the temporary was so important?
Confidence and self- love lies beyond fear. The fear that you’re not and will never be good enough. The fear that you’re not good looking enough or “successful” enough. The fear that you have less worth than your counterparts. Maybe you’re being bullied and if you are or don’t feel equal, just remember the actions of others is a reflection of themselves, not you. We have a tendency to hold on and pay attention to the hate and it blinds the love. How I stay confident and continue to love myself is, I hold on to what’s good, happy and uplifting- not what hurts.
In middle school, I was made fun of for not being allowed to shave my legs and people called me a hairy beast until I cried to my mom to let me have my first razor. I also found myself eating in the bathroom stalls alone more often than I should’ve. I even told the popular kid I had a crush on him and he nicknamed me horse face and ignored me. In high school, I was made fun of for having braces until I was 16. The list goes on but looking back it was so not worth it to let that affect me. We have ONE life. This life is way too precious to let someone not make you feel good enough. This is where I challenge you.
Look into the mirror right now. Take it all in. Your beauty. Your flaws. Now your story. Your struggles. Everything that makes you, you. Now see your heart and recognize the kind of person you are and tell yourself “I am special and I am enough.” Believe it, because that person you see, that person is beautiful and loved and important. That person can change the world.
If you need something more concrete, here are a list of things that I do to help me feel better about myself when I’m down.
- Stay off of social media! You’ll naturally compare your life without trying. Delete the apps for a few days and take some time for you. When you do get on, time yourself, 30 mins a day and then off. Or whatever you think it needs to be.
- Pray/ talk to God and surf bible app
- Spend more time outside! Hikes, walks, parks, sunset watching, swimming. Being inside never helps.
- Write a list of your goals
- Write a list of what you’re grateful for
- Drink tea
- Do yoga/ meditate
- Listen to upbeat music, I also listen to my church’s album Mosaic MSC
- Eat healthier! Look up recipes if you need to make it less boring and eat brighter colored foods. Eating an acai bowl, or a fruit bowl with lots of colors helps brighten my mood. Donuts and ice cream are satisfying in the moment but regretful right after.
- WORKOUT: I know this is hard because you want to lay in bed, you had a long day- whatever the excuse. So try to put on your cutest workout clothes or treat yourself to a new outfit and get to the gym. If you don’t have a membership or money look for a free week at yoga places/ gyms, check groupon or take a class (boxing, pole dancing, dancing) but DO IT. There are so many forms of exercise today that you’re bound to find your thing. It releases endorphins, you’ll start to love your body more and feel great and in turn it will show! This is one of the most important steps to self love. Simply taking better care of yourself.
- Write in your journal or read a good book.
- Do something you love
- Dedicate some time to helping others. Volunteer with the American Cancer Society, or a favorite charity of yours and get involved.
Baby steps. I hope this entry helps you on your way to loving yourself and being confident. You deserve it.